Parents evening 2

What’s this? Another post about parents evening? Well, yes, there’s more than one in a year you know…

There is a particular hell to the parents evening at this time of year. Why oh why is it now? Returning after Christmas always feels tough, as the Christmas holiday is not restful at all. All that enforced cheers, spending time with families, too much alcohol, too much cheese, not enough sleep, too much alcohol, stress about money and too much alcohol takes it’s toll.

So, one week in, what do SLT do? “Don’t forget the parent’s evening tonight.” And of course, everyone has forgotten, which leads to the immortal phrase “It’s in the calendar¹.”

It’s dark, wet, and you’re exhausted. Now you have to discuss progress with the parents who show up. The entire problem with parents evenings is getting the parents who need to show up to actually do so. I’ve thought about this for a while, and there are no easy answers here. Every single parent deserves to know how their child is doing – good students, bad, and everyone inbetween. The conundrum is how to do this effectively and efficiently.

Parents work. Teachers have families. Parents evening is tricky on all fronts. If you’re knackered, dealing with thirty or so sets of parents can be the hammer nail in the coffin of your enthusiasm for the term. Why have the evening so soon after the break? Why not move it closer to half term, when the finishing line is in sight?

A frequent cry in staffrooms is that you’re only seeing good students, and surely they know they are doing well? Okay, yes, they probably do know they are, but have you considered they deserve to be told that? Or told how well they are doing? In my last couple of years as a classroom teacher, I taught a student who came from a chaotic background – five kids, he was the eldest by a good five years, mum well intentioned but overwhelmed, very little money – and he was a genius at maths. I will never forget his mum’s face when I told her just how good he was. Her face ran the gamut of emotions from “you’re pulling my leg” to “holy shit, how did I produce him?” He is now targeting a-levels and university, and his mum is so, so proud she praises the school in those groups² every chance she can. One of the best parents meetings I’ve ever had.

For balance, I was accused of aggression by a parent once because I’d dared to suggest that her daughter could perhaps, maybe, do a little bit more work. I don’t think I was aggressive at all, but when a mother tells you that, you should listen. One of my more uncomfortable meetings³.

During COVID, all appointments were moved online, and delivered via software that had strict time limits per appointment. No-one could overrun. No awkward, “I’ve said everything I’m going to say” from the teacher whilst the parent feels the need to ask a question you’ve already answered. No really awkward “Shit, I’ve just told you about the other Johnny in my class⁴” as the parents and students names are right there in the screen.

Interviews can be conducted from home too – a bonus for both teachers and parents. Home from work, knackered and just want to veg so can’t face going back out to school? No problem – switch on your phone and there you go. Teachers can get home and see their families before the evening starts. Win-win, especially at this time of year, when the weather can be a little inclement to say the least. Last week, a school postponed parents evening due to the forecast of high winds (with a yellow warning from the Met Office). Queue outrage in the school-bashing group, from the same parents who would have complained had the evening gone ahead.

This is a problem for secondary schools I feel, more than primary, as there tends to be a disconnect when students start secondary. The whole ‘meet by the school gates’ vibe that primary schools do so well is entirely missing from secondary, and we could definitely do more to make our schools more inviting for parents. An open, please drop in, day once a term might show parents that we’re really not monsters and do, actually, really, want their child to succeed. Perhaps then we could work on building parent-school-student relationships⁵.

Anyway, this week I’ve been in loads of lessons, supporting and observing and witnessed this gem of an interaction between two students:

Mike⁶: “Sir, I’m going to be on the telly soon.”

Will: “Yeah, in one of those news segments.”

Buckle up, only 382 more days left in January.

Until next time.

Footnotes

1. The calendar you last looked at in September. ↩︎
2. You know, the ones where some parent keeps having a pop at the school, and gets loads of support despite everyone knowing they spend most of their time in the pub and their kids are rude and borderline feral, but sure it’s the teachers faults, the bastards. ↩︎
3. For the record, the student didn’t bare me any ill-will and thought I was right, but it doesn’t change my embarrassment. ↩︎
4. Surprisingly and embarrassingly more common than you might think. ↩︎
5. This is a bigger topic than this one line can solve. A topic for the future! ↩︎
6. RIP Stranger Things. ↩︎